Reflecting

I wrote this yesterday after coming back from the beach..i was hit with inspriration:



Today i stretched out in the sand, my fingertips trying to pick out each grain, as if,itself,were a memory. And as i look up at the whole beach,the sun, a giant scoop of sorbet icecream, and realized , not all of the This sand would begin to cover all the memories at this one week at St. george's Island. And as i raise my head to the clowds, and shut my eyes , i felt the knot i had been holding in my stomach for two weeks tighten , and tears come to my eyes. This is the beginning of summer , a beach trip, yes,but so much more. I have been looking forward to this vacation for many weeks , for so many reasons. But a strong and annyingly so persistant reason keeps tugging at my heart. To forget. forget that i was leaving my friends, forget i was moving into a new home, forget the world was moving under my feet and i couldnt seem to walk with it. Now i know the truth, as i clutched a clump of grass, and swallowed. almost tears.
I came to this Beach to forget. And now that im leaving this paradise, this surreal place , back to reality, its time to let go. let go of friends that im losing by moving...and that would hurt to keep, let go of MLK, but most impotantly, let go of the place i live in now. It hurts. I hurt. But i am leaving this ocean. This wave dreamland.
But someday i will lean my head back, close my eyes,and think of the blue ocean water, hot sand, and clinging heat, and i will think
that summer.
The summer i said goodbye.



That is the utter and intermost truth. I wrote that ..and meant it. I still do.