Missed

went to an open air jazz concert with my dad and his girfriend. Picnict and had a nice time.
As much as i was into my book, i couldnt help being slightly ingaged by the sounds of the notes...and the aura of the people aouned me. Putting down my book for a couple of moments i allowed the notes to curl arouned me as i slipped into my own private world.
I could think so easily it was as if the whole world was sorted out for me and there was no need to worry and longer. but at the same time came a kind of sadness hard to put into words. a melancholy hapiness....as if the weight was being taken off my shoulders..but i didnt really want it to go. I let the breeze knot my almost- blonde hair...and smiled to myself.
Everything was going to be alright.
The night before, though was a completely different matter.
and do not know why....but at some moments i really do miss Wilkins more and more. and maybe its because he is all i have left of the best year of my life, fourth grade. Its when i discovered writing as more than a hobbie, as a way of expressing ones self...a passion, where i met my best friend of four years , Hanna R., I had the best teacher, wondeful friends, wonderful life.
And i miss him because of this..i wojnt be seeing him. This means everything about waters Landing is gone, memories, faded. and in a couple of years...I wont remember what Wilkins loks like , how he was, the school i loved.
Along with all the friends i loved. and i cried. but you really couldnt call it that. it was such sadness that cant be put into words. I heared a wail, Coming from the core of me, i heared sobs and splutters, and felt the wetness of tears...and it took me a couple secondes to realize it was coming from me.
This is true sadness.

That Summer

Wrote this just now. What do you think? Im going to need an electric guitar to play it since its a sorta rock song....since my acoustic wont cut it. Here it is:
That Summer
By Me : Justina S.
Cold Caffine.
No wait ….Its Clorine.
Feel The Taste.
Hot sun. Tension sweat.
glossed smiles.
No Regret.
Open mouth show off lips look at me
not other chicks.
Vollyball run and look.
time to judge the cover not the book.
Wet Mud…hooves tread …this summer camp.
Instructions..hard as lead.
Chorus.
So can you deal with That fact.
I want your Energy…
Don’t pull down that hat.
Look ats me don’t run to hide.
Blow me a kiss….have you no pride?
Insults….black eyes…..wet hair.
No goodbyes.
So you tell me what to do.
My adrenaline, trying to get over you.
Because this country is straight up
red, white, and blue.
Yesterday I walked outside , felt the sun, tasted sweat.
Smiled, remembered.
Is that a threat?
On the ride home discusions, faint.
who are you….i don’t know and that’s my favorite trait.
Just look at me one more time with that
soul.
Shivering….this love is cold.
Pull you near, whisper in you ear,
‘ so, what do you know about me here?’
turn arouned, walk away.
If these are games then
I can play.
Chorus.
So can you deal with That fact.
I want your Energy…
Don’t pull down that hat.
Look at me don’t run to hide.
Blow me a kiss….have you no pride?
Insults….black eyes…..wet hair.
No goodbyes.
So you tell me what to do.
My adrenaline, trying to get over you.
Because this country is straight up
red, white, and blue.
Coda.
So Before I leave remember this.
I was always waiting for that kiss.
If your gone I guess that’s fine.
Loving you is a waste of my time.
We tried to take that chance.
Im not ok with one more dance.
Don’t you remember …what I do?
One red bull isnt gonna give that to you.
Lick the envelope…Flown like that moth.
It will be time to say im off.
Im Off.
Im Off.
What do you think?

Update later

Im going 2 France 2morrow...i will update more..when i have more time.